A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone: "Get me a f!%kin' cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are f^#kin' talking to, you idiot?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.
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This beautiful woman has a severe accident, her car and a man's crash into eachother; both crawl out of the wrecked cars and start chatting.
"Look at our cars", says the woman. "They are ruined but we don't have a scratch. It's a sign, we were supposed to meet like this."
"Yes I strongly agree, definitely a sign."
A moment of silence, then she says:
"Hey, another sign. My car is wrecked, but this bottle of wine in the back is untouched. I think it's God's way of telling us to celebrate this moment, this unique chance, of still being alive."
"Of course."
She takes the wine and gives it to the man who drinks a bit, then offers her the bottle back. She takes the bottle, seals it and gives it back to him.
"Aren't you going to have some?", he asks.
"No thank you, I'll just wait here for the police".
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Two blondes enter a bus.
- Hey, does this take me to the train station? asks the first one.
- Nope, said the driver.
Other blonde: - What about me?
--------------------------------
Why did Latvian cross road?
Is joke. No road in Latvia.
Latvian man hear knock in door. “Who is?” ask man. “Is Potato Man. Am deliver free potatoes to-all-door” say voice. Man rejoice. “Oh! Such blessing!” Latvian open door, man say “just kidding. Is Secret Police.”
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A pirate walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed by this, seeing an actual pirate. So he asks;
"Is that a real hook on your hand?"
"Aye, I were in a duel with me ol' nemesis, and lost me hand in the struggle."
The bartender is shocked, and continues by asking;
"Is that a real pegleg?"
"Aye, tis. I was out at sea, 'nd our ship were fired upon. Lost me leg in the crossfire."
The bartender couldnt believe it! A real pirate! So he asks him;
"How about your eyepatch? How did you get that?"
"Arr, I was just getting to shore, when a seagull pooped in me eye."
"And you lost your eye from that?"
"No, I just still wasn't used to the hook."
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are f^#kin' talking to, you idiot?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.
--------------------------------------------
This beautiful woman has a severe accident, her car and a man's crash into eachother; both crawl out of the wrecked cars and start chatting.
"Look at our cars", says the woman. "They are ruined but we don't have a scratch. It's a sign, we were supposed to meet like this."
"Yes I strongly agree, definitely a sign."
A moment of silence, then she says:
"Hey, another sign. My car is wrecked, but this bottle of wine in the back is untouched. I think it's God's way of telling us to celebrate this moment, this unique chance, of still being alive."
"Of course."
She takes the wine and gives it to the man who drinks a bit, then offers her the bottle back. She takes the bottle, seals it and gives it back to him.
"Aren't you going to have some?", he asks.
"No thank you, I'll just wait here for the police".
---------------------------------
Two blondes enter a bus.
- Hey, does this take me to the train station? asks the first one.
- Nope, said the driver.
Other blonde: - What about me?
--------------------------------
Why did Latvian cross road?
Is joke. No road in Latvia.
Latvian man hear knock in door. “Who is?” ask man. “Is Potato Man. Am deliver free potatoes to-all-door” say voice. Man rejoice. “Oh! Such blessing!” Latvian open door, man say “just kidding. Is Secret Police.”
----------------------------------
A pirate walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed by this, seeing an actual pirate. So he asks;
"Is that a real hook on your hand?"
"Aye, I were in a duel with me ol' nemesis, and lost me hand in the struggle."
The bartender is shocked, and continues by asking;
"Is that a real pegleg?"
"Aye, tis. I was out at sea, 'nd our ship were fired upon. Lost me leg in the crossfire."
The bartender couldnt believe it! A real pirate! So he asks him;
"How about your eyepatch? How did you get that?"
"Arr, I was just getting to shore, when a seagull pooped in me eye."
"And you lost your eye from that?"
"No, I just still wasn't used to the hook."
